How Anxiety Feels and 10+ Ways to Cope with Anxiety
Racing heart, difficulty breathing, wanting to run away, freezing in your tracks, difficulty talking, can’t think straight… Anxiety. Oh, anxiety.
Today I am identifying what anxiety feels like, including common physical symptoms of anxiety. I am also giving you 10 + ways to cope with anxiety. By the end of this post you will have better understanding of anxiety and will have new tools to help decrease your anxious feelings and thoughts.
Anxiety Symptoms
Let’s start with talking about anxiety symptoms and how anxiety can feel in your body.
How Anxiety Feels
Anxiety can leave you feeling tired, drained, exhausted. It can make you feel like you have no control and can make it hard to think straight.
Common symptoms of anxiety include:
Racing thoughts / difficulty concentrating
Feeling restless or “wound up”
Difficulty breathing / tight chest
Easily fatigued
Stomachaches or feeling nauseated
Difficulty falling asleep
Wanting to avoid place, people, or situation(s)
Did you also know that irritability is typical in anxiety as well? Are you feeling “on edge” and unsure why? Or perhaps, you are feeling more easily annoyed… Sometimes you might also feel more sensitive to sounds or lights if you are experiencing anxiety.
Also I want you to be aware that sometimes, anxiety is confused with ADHD. ADHD and anxiety can have very similar symptoms: inattentiveness, difficulty concentrating, feeling restless or increase of energy, not being able to slow down thoughts, or racing thoughts, to name a few.
What does Anxiety Look like?
In addition to all of the above symptoms, anxiety can look differently depending on the type of anxiety and how you personally cope with anxiety.
For some people, it can be incredibly difficult to know when they are experiencing anxiety! Not all anxiety will look the same in every person.
You know that girl who sits quietly in the back? She smiles, she looks happy, and she will talk to you when you talk to her… But that’s about it. She may be dealing with social anxiety. It’s not that she’s “rude” or “hateful.” She could just be dealing with the struggles in her mind of thinking “What if they don’t like me?,” “What if they don’t actually want me here and only invited me to be nice?,” “What do I even say or do right now?”…
Or you know the guy who seems to laugh at every little thing. Even if it doesn’t seem appropriate, he is laughing. Maybe he’s fidgety and won’t stop moving and you’re thinking, “Can’t you just chill?”. Perhaps, he is dealing with anxiety as well and his laughter and movements are him laughing nervously and experiencing restlessness.
Anxiety has a very big impact on our thoughts, our behaviors, and our feelings. And again - anxiety can look differently and not be easy to identify.
Take a Deep Breath.
Relax your tongue.
Drop your shoulders.
Unclench your jaw.
Good job. Let’s keep going.
You might be wondering by now: So, Mattracea, How do I cope with anxiety anyway? What are coping skills for anxiety? I have tried everyyyyything and nothing has helped me!
Bad news is: There is not a one-size-fits-all.
Good news is: There is not a one-size-fits-all.
Yes, Read that again. That is not a typo. :)
Bad news is: There is not a one-size-fits-all.
Good news is: There is not a one-size-fits-all.
Since there are no magical coping tools that can be applied to every single person to ALWAYS help with anxiety, it is good for you to have an array of anxiety coping tools. Which brings up another point - just because one coping skill helps you doesn’t mean it will be the magic one. There may be times that you have to incorporate another coping tool in addition to, or in replacement of.
Anxiety Coping Tools:
1. Diaphragmatic Breathing (aka Belly Breathing): This is something you might have learned in grade school when you were in band or choir, or maybe even cheerleading. When you practice diaphragmatic breathing you want your belly (diaphragm) to expand or get bigger… hold it for a moment… then, exhale.
Try this for yourself now… Breathe in and notice your belly expand, 2, 3, 4, 5… Hold 1, 2, 3… Exhale 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
*Disclaimer: If you feel light-headed this means you are probably doing it correctly - but the point is just for you to relax so if you feel light-headed TAKE A BREAK. :)
2. Yoga and/or Stretching: Yoga is not for everyone. I get it. But if you are up for trying something new or challenging yourself yoga can be a great tool to use. And there are certain poses that can help you feel refreshed.
Think about the days when you have had a rough morning at work and are needing a reset. Now, imagine yourself closing your office door and doing the child’s pose, and feeling refreshed, more alert, more comforted. You are now ready for the next step in your day!
Plus - you can also pair this with the belly breathing (win-win!)
3. Mindfulness: Go for a mindfulness walk. Notice your surroundings. What colors do you see? Do you hear animals? Birds? Vehicles? The wind going through the trees? What are you smelling? Does it smell like rain, fresh cut grass, wood burning? What are you feeling? Can you feel the warmth of the sun, or the breeze around you? Practice being present, in the here-and-now.
4. Meditation: Meditation often gets a bad rap. People tend to picture meditation as just one thing: Someone sitting on top of a mountain with their hands on their knees and humming. Yes, this is a form of meditation but meditation can look much different than this!
Meditation is a form of mindfulness, in that you are practicing being calm and quiet, while also working on quieting your thoughts. This one is not easy, especially when you deal with anxiety, but is very beneficial for anxiety.
My recommendation: Start with a short meditation (2 minute meditation even!).
Insight Timer and the Calm app are two resources/apps I recommend for meditation.
5. Increase your heartrate - get that blood pumping! It might sound counterproductive… your heart is already racing… but that’s actually the point. Remember back to when you felt anxious, and you felt like you had no control?
Well, when you manually and purposefully get your heart rate up, you are taking back control. You are the one who is making your heart speed up now. And the saying is true! What comes up, must come down. Jog in place, sprint down your hallway, do a few jumping jacks, or my favorite: Get dancing!
6. Get Moving! Go for a walk, dance it out, stretch, go for a jog, do the dishes, vacuum the floor, organize your cabinets… Whatever you can do to just get moving. This helps to transfer your focus onto something else versus sitting there ruminating over what you said earlier that day.
7. Run COLD water on your wrists. Sounds bizarre, right? We see this in movies sometimes - the girl gets flustered, frustrated, etc. and she goes into the restaurant bathroom and splashes water on her face. This is similar, and actually does work! It helps to cool you down and can give you a break that you need.
Side-note: this is also a good coping tool for anger or irritability.
8. Creativity: Bullet Journal, Draw, Write, Color, Art, Scrapbook, Make Jewelry, Do a Puzzle, etc. Never underestimate the power of creativity. Even if you are not creative… You can still practice one of these to help give your mind a break from all of the worry. Just make sure it is challenging enough to keep your interest, but not so challenging that you get overwhelmed.
9. Call a Friend. In the moment, when your panic or anxiety is taking over, it’s hard to remember that simple things can be helpful. One of which, is calling a friend. Sometimes, just hearing your friends voice (or family members voice) can be just what you need to help bring you back to a normal emotional state.
10. Ask yourself: Is this helpful or harmful? Anxiety tends to trick you. Though, anxiety is also a helpful emotion. Anxiety can tell you when a dark ally isn’t safe, or tell you if someone is following you. But that isn’t always the case. Notice the thought that is leading to your anxiety and challenge that.
11 Plan worry time. Each day (or at least every other day), plan a time for you to worry. Maybe at 2:00 pm? During this time you can pull out a notebook, set your timer on your phone for 5 minutes, and write down every. single. worry. or worried thought that you have. When that timer goes off, close that notebook, take a deep breath, and refocus on the task at hand. You’re done worrying for the day. Hooray!
12. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). This is a tool to help release that tension in your muscles and to help you relax. This is an act of tensing each muscle, noticing the tension, then relaxing and noticing the relaxation. If you have not heard of this before, I encourage you to ask your counselor to guide you through this, or if you aren’t attending counseling right now - then to find a YouTube video or use a meditation app to help guide you.
AND! Saving the best for last. :)
13. Calm, Comfortable Place: This is an EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) tool, but works wonderfully for anxiety. Although you need a trained EMDR therapist to lead you through this initially, I want to remind you that you can also use this tool for anxiety!
14. Container/Containment: This is also an EMDR therapy tool, but you might have heard of it before. EMDR helps to enhance this tool, but you can also practice it without EMDR. Essentially, you imagine a container of some sort and you imagine all of your worries going into the container, locking/shutting the container, and then putting the container “up.”
I like to compare this exercise to your decorations. When fall is over, you put all of your fall items into a container, close the box, and put it away on the shelf. Then, you pull it back out when you need it again, but until you need it - or until you have time to deal with it - you leave it safely contained.
Anxiety does NOT have to be debilitating.
Anxiety can feel overwhelming, but when you start asking yourself “what are some coping skills for anxiety,” I hope some of these come to mind and you are able to find the one that works best for you!